SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
