I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
