Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
