the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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