New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
