goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
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well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
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We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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