Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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