I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
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Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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