I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
