so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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