I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
