did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
