PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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