Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
