Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
