im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
