I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
