And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
