No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
