Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
