Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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