How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
