I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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