I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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