You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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