Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
