We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
