I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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