I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
