Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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