We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
