I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
