The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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