yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
