if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize