ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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