You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
