I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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