Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
