eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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