So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
