I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He did a backflip because drugs
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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