I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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