my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
