evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
