I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
