a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
