I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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