I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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