i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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