She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
