I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
