so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
