my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
