mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
