gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Randomize
