After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
