RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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