Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize