She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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