i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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