I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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