laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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