i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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