I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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