Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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