He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
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...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
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My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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