Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
