It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
